Get fired - or at least get the wisdom

OK, kiddies... It's been too many moons since I last posted (forgive me, father, for I have sinned... and it was grrrreat! j/k), but I just didn't feel inspired enough about anything to commit to paper - or disk space. It's not like my mind has been an empty bucket or anything - I have been inspired, but it usually involves or references others, and I don't exactly feel right broadcasting my thoughts when it could embarrass or hurt someone I care about. Perhaps I'll grow into this more confidently soon...

Anyway, I came across a short essay that really speaks to one aspect of "where I am" right now in my life. I was furloughed (translation: you're fired. But we hope once we assholes find more money that you'll graciously forgive us & come back! Please, come back!) from my job of 7 yrs in Sept '03. And let me tell you - best thing to ever happen to my career (and maybe even my social life?).The challenge now is to find & surround yourself w/ others who share that same "place" as you, or are in a place you aspire to reach. I hope I can be a positive influence on others reaching this goal -- b/c it's a nice place to be, at least for now, and as long as I can enjoy sharing it w/ someone else...

In an interview in More magazine (Dec/Jan 2005), former 60 Minutes producer Mary Mapes discusses what she learned from being fired.

"No job will ever snuggle me in bed, stand with me beside my mother's casket, help me raise my child or love me when I am at my worst. Only my husband can do that.

"No job will ever call for me urgently during a thunderstorm, write me a carefully scrawled Mother's Day card or tell me he wants to marry me when he grows up. Only my son can do that."

Those are wonderful ideas, and I really hope Ms. Mapes knew them before she was fired. I like to believe that we all recognize that our jobs are not our essence. I've yet to read an obituary where the "Survived by" includes spouse, children and their beloved corporation. We all know it's not real, even if we don't put it into words. We all intuitively recognize the truth of Ms. Mapes' statements.

But acknowledging that truth and living in a way that exemplifies it are two dramatically different things.

I don't know Mary Mapes. Perhaps she crafted her life in such a way that it reflected this wisdom. Or perhaps she was caught up in the excitement of her job - the travel, the power, the important issues. Perhaps there was very little time to look at that Mother's Day card. Maybe she found the perfect balance. I don't know. But I do know that most of us don't. Many people - men & women - put their careers first, no matter what they say. Just check the number of hrs worked. Listen to their conversations. Observe their social relationships. Many people put much more time & energy into doing their job well than they do into their marriages or children. And it exacts a cost.

Although being fired can have serious financial consequences and be a tremendous blow to our self-esteem, it is also an opportunity to re-evaluate and start anew.

Did I really stay focused on my goals? Did I create the kind of work-family balance I desire - the kind I promised myself I would? Am I focused on the most important relationships?

I'm not advocating that we all get fired! I'd like to learn the lesson without that pain. We need to recognize and internalize the idea that even the most meaningful job is just that, a job. We need to take more pleasure in the simple gifts and accomplishments. We need to maintain perspective that working 24/6 doesn't usually allow us.

We need to go out and throw the football with our children. We need to go for a walk in the park with our spouse. We need to put our work in perspective, and hopefully we won't be forced to hear those ominous Donald Trump-ian words, "You're Fired."